Article 19: Family, Singleness, and Marriage - life-giving relationships

Article 19: Family, Singleness and Marriage brings us to some important practical considerations for our church life together. A core part of who we are is based on our family relationships. All of us are or were children at one time and had a parent or caregiver, though some of us had better experiences with these relationships than others. All of us are or have been single at one time. For some this is a temporary stage of life. For others this is an ongoing reality of life whether by one's choice or not. Many of us are, have been, or will be married at some point in life. This is a sacred covenant that must be honored and protected, yet we live in a society of broken relationships in which our marriages are not what they should be. Regardless of which parts of this article we currently identify with, this is about relationships that should be life-giving for us and that contribute to our broader family of faith.

I Corinthians 7:32-40 gives Paul's perspective on singleness. Here we read that not only does he support singleness, but he actually advocates for it. From his perspective, living single is a life that is free from the distractions of marriage that may take our attention away from God. It's not that it is wrong to marry, it's just that it is a distraction. Paul advocates singleness and yet he makes it clear that marriage is not a sin which suggests that his audience may have wondered if it might be a sin. This seems like quite the opposite perspective of the church as we have historically known it; a church that praises marriage and asks those who are single when they are going to tie the knot and settle down, as if they are not complete until they do so. Paul's affirmation of singleness should give us pause and encourage us to consider more deeply the merits of singleness and how we as a church include singles into the life of the family of the church.

Ephesians 5:21-33 gives instructions to husbands and wives and is a passage that tends to be revered or despised. When reading it, we tend to focus in on verses 22-24 and in particular on the concept of wives submitting to their husbands. In doing so, we tend to loose sight of the parallel drawn to Christ and the Church and what submitting really means in that context. We also tend to take these 3 verses out of the broader passage and ignore verse 21 and then the instructions that follow which are directed at the husband. This is not a passage about male dominance, but rather a call to men and women to be giving and loving in their relationship.

Ephesians 6:1-4 instructs children to do what their parents tell them. This passage connects back to the 10 commandments and reiterates the need to honor your mother and father. And it reminds us of the life giving promise associated with that. In doing so, you will live well and have a long life. This passage also encourages fathers to lead their children by the hand and teach them in life-giving ways the path of Christ rather than coming down on them in ways that are domineering.

These are key family relationships and aspects of our lives that are important to our faith. They are also important to what it means for us to be a church family. Within this church family, we need to foster these relationships in ways that are life-giving.